A Story 4 U…The Culmination of My Creative Compulsion
I have always found it fascinating to discover what compels an artist to create, whether it be an author, a musician, a painter, sculptor; truly, any kind of artist. Oten times, the back story for their artistry is just as interesting to me as their works of creation. So, I have decided to “open the curtain”, so to speak, of my own compulsion to create, and to share this with you. It should be an interesting endeavor.
I have always been moved by nature, music, deep spiritual conjecture, and by vibrant human connection. From an early age, I remember staring into the sky and pondering my existence against the backdrop of the limitless universe. My immature brain couldn’t quite fathom how I came to be, no less where I might end up, but I was enthralled by the possibilities. That was me at about five years old.
Fast forward a few years and I’m sitting at the breakfast table with my mother when a song came on. It was “Loving You”, by Minnie Riperton. And I distinctly remember crying, moved by how beautiful her voice was and by the love she exuded in song. Mom, taken aback by my youthful tears, asked me what was wrong. After composing myself, I simply stated that her voice, and the music, was beautiful, and I couldn’t help but cry. This is the earliest I remember being profoundly moved in my spirit by music. Today, music takes me places nothing else can. It’s phenomenal what a beautiful piece of music can do to me! And I still cry like a baby when the music hits my soul just right…
After the “adventures” of early adolescence, I was struck by the desire to know God and who I believed to be his son, Jesus. I dove into the Bible, reading it every day, attempting to make sense of its profundity. I desired, more than anything at that time, to be a preacher; to reach people with the Word of God. However, as I dove deeper into the Bible, most especially the Old Testament, I was bombarded by all sorts of divergent feelings. I didn’t quite understand the meaning behind many of the “baser” stories found throughout what I believed was God’s spoken, inerrant Word. Not wishing to entertain such divergent feelings, and the thoughts that accompany them, I let go of the stories and concentrated on the “love” passages contained primarily within the New Testament. And as I made my way through college, and early adulthood, I went full throttle into evangelism, attempting to “win the world for Jesus”.
Interestingly enough, I didn’t experience much in the way of creativity during those years. Perhaps it was because I thought I possessed the answers to life’s most pressing spiritual dilemmas and thus didn’t search much on my own. In any event, I continued along this path for a good ten years prior to the traumatic break that propelled me forward…to where I am today.
After marrying my college girlfriend, and leading numerous church ministries together, I was rudely revisited by the divergent spiritual questions and biblical stories encountered in my youth. It largely manifested during a crisis which had erupted within my church, and its leadership. Taking a step back, I began to ponder what it was I truly believed, and how this belief had shaped who I’d become. It was a frightening time in my life, filled with extreme self-doubt and conflicting emotions. It was at this moment that I began to feel a tug in my soul, and a corresponding burgeoning desire to express what I was feeling. Thus began years of earnest searching and systematic expression of all that I had found. Which leads me to where I’ve settled today…
During the years of my desperate searching, decades really, I came across a plethora of deep, inexpressible, and profoundly meaningful, spiritual truisms (my truisms, not necessarily anyone else’s). And these truisms center around the idea that humans are co-creators with The Ultimate Creator, and as such, we possess an eternal soul; one that is always in the process of refinement and perfection. In essence, we never “die”, but continue along “life’s” infinite journey. What a thought! What an unbelievable source of motivation to grow and become what we know ourselves to be. It is this thought, and the inexhaustible facets of this thought, that has spurred me on to write and to express this writing in what you’ll encounter on this site.
I hope this wasn’t too wordy, or too much to take in. Obviously, it was only a cursory explanation; one that provides a bit of backdrop into why I created the works on this site. I hope you found enjoyment reading part of my life story and, more importantly, I hope you find true enrichment as you watch my stories unfold. I believe you will.
My best…to all of you.
Randy
